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Losing Influence Over You Children

By heath - Posted on 01 March 2012

I have been thinking lately about how the relationship between parents and children changes over time. It seems that I have noticed that some parents panic as they noticed they are losing influence over their children and clamp down over all areas of freedom the child has. It seems to me that when this happens, a parent exchanges a long term influence over the child as they grow and discover their freedom for a small time of complete control.

For me, it makes me think about being deliberate about the set of things I designate as within the child's freedom and those things that I regulate. Finally, there is another category for me: areas under observation. Using these three categories, I can talk to my kids about their authority, responsibility, and freedom. It also helps them understand that there are some areas that I give them provisional freedom because I fully intend to release them to full freedom if they prove they can use it wisely. Then, I don't take back ones they have proven just to punish them for failing in the provisional areas.