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Finishing Blue Like Jazz

By heath - Posted on 13 January 2006

Well, I finished Blue Like Jazz (BLJ) tonight. I think Dave mentioned it to me a couple of years ago. I wish I had read it then. Most of the ideas are things I have heard through other sources. I think I particularly liked his thoughts about living with the hippies and the confession booth where they confessed to their classmates.

I think I would really like to go to his church. In large part, I am very much like him. One way that I am not is that I am married and I am not a writer. It seems to me that the church really needs some regular Joes like me to live the Gospel. In some ways it will look similar to the thoughts in BLJ. It is one thing to be a missionary, pastor, writer/speaker and forge a path of discipleship. It is another to live in a mid-sized town in Texas, work 40-50 hours a week and have a family to support and find a way to live a righteous and holy life to God. Should I serve more? Should I give more? Should I work less? Should I buy less? Should I...Should I...Should I. It is almost enough to make one want to give up.

Incidentally, my good friend, Rusty accused me of worshiping an idol with my desire to live such a life. It is so hard to ferret out the line between really fighting against fear and wanting to live a life of radical discipleship and making such a life an idol and worshiping it apart from the living God.

I am not sure about his conclusion. It is hard to live a free life. Even when I think about my children, they get jealous and end up being suspicious of us playing favorites. I am particularly thinking of my two-year-old. It starts young. I can see this in myself. I hate it, but I often begin to compare myself to my peers when I see their stuff or find out how old they are. Why can't I be free?

Miller in BLJ talks about learning to accept love. This is the struggle of the Christian life. It is hard to believe the kind of love that God has for us. We almost refuse to believe it. I can see that I have often rejected it. I feel like I need to do something to repay God. This is just not true. Why can't I get that through my head!?

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