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I don't care enough to love you


By heath - Posted on 02 April 2006

You can only truly love someone when you have extricated all necessity from the relationship. You can't really love someone that you need because it is not free. Freedom is often linked to love in that you must have a free choice in order for love to be free. However, I would say that even if we were theoretically free, we still need God so much our love could not be free. Instead it is in bondage to necessity.

Christ, however, freed us to love him the way he loves us. When he freely died for me, he freed me to freely give love to him. Before I ever wanted anything from God, he died to give me everything I needed. Now, I need nothing. I have been given everything. I am a son of the Most High God. What could I need? I have a right to everything that is Christ's as a heir to God. Now I can love God because he is just beyond wonderful. I can enjoy him, his character, his word, his creation as it was intended, as a gift.

A friend recently emailed me the words from a Casting Crowns song that said, "How refreshing to know you don't need me; How amazing to find that you want me!" They understand the true nature of love. Real love is the desire and enjoyment of another that you do not need.

How do we "need" people? We need people when we seek their approval over God's. We need people when we use them to improve our status. We need people when we use them to manipulate them to do our bidding and make our lives easier.

I would also argue that true love is not "a decision" anymore than it is an emotion. True love always involves the emotions, but much of the time, especially at the beginning, it takes a conscious effort. It is contrary to scripture to say that God loves us with no emotion. Song of Solomon and the Minor prophets show that God's love is full of emotion. However, It took the most extreme act of service on earth for God to demonstrate his love. Sometimes it is difficult for us to love people because they run over our idols: it is difficult because we need them to not offend us. True love is a genuine affection for someone because of the beauty that God has put in them as his image. We let their offenses between them and God and love what is there to love. There is something in everyone.

How can we do this? If we direct our worship toward God, and not idols, we really will need nothing. Why would we do this? We see our father doing it, and we admire him. We want to be like him because he is so cool.

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